222 - Online Updates

Do you remember?
I remember every moment.
Every word I wrote to you, spoke to you, read to you.
I remember every flower I stole for you
I remember every excuse I grabbed to call you
I remember I remember I remember your laughter
and
your hands.

vivo para eso sonrisa

I remember the first phrase I wrote to you in spanish
in french.
Do you?

Do you remember the way we would
look above and around crowded rooms and hallways
sneaking glances
rare moments when we would realize the other was already looking at us

I
I remember that car ride
I should have kept you longer
I should have asked you to stay.

come back?
I still remember.
Please come back, we have all night.

221 - and Feeling it, too

I had a dream about you last night.

We met again at a high school reunion.
I was single, and destitute, and torn apart, and depressed, and telling people love didn't exist. Love wasn't kind, or patient. It was judgemental, and cruel, and unfair.
You stepped in with your new boyfriend, a real mess of a guy, really, but he looked your type and maybe you really had managed to convince yourself you were happy, who knows.
But you didn't look it.
You didn't look happy.
And by the end of the night, we'd finally managed to drift back together, talking and laughing, laughing and talking. And you touched my arm, and smiled the sweetest smile.
You told me to stay magical.

and with the kindest
with the absolute kindest of intentions, love, I swear,
I told you I hoped you were happy
and you deserved it
you deserve happiness
and
and
you leaned over
put your hand on my shoulder
and kissed me
right on my cheek.

and it finally felt like you were understanding me
hearing me

Please be happy
You deserve more.
You deserve happiness.