Thirty Third

I'm the kind of person who's changed since high school.
A lot of people have, you know it when you bump into them, you see it on their faces, you see it in their clothing, in the way they speak. Or just by the fact that they are now speaking to you.
But I've changed in a different way, a way that you'd have to look closer to find.
Because I'm snarky now, and I mean it. And the insults come faster, and sometimes I mean them. And it's because my mind has just grown darker. And the compliments are still there, but I'm too scared to say them, and I'll place them in backhanded compliments. Because if you flirt with everyone, then no one is special. And no one can hurt you.
And I've stopped caring about what people think. I just want to be myself, and not have any misunderstandings. And I've grown weary of people. But I keep trying.
I don't let things go. I don't forgive easily. I don't trust anyone anymore, and even when they earn it, I still don't. And I wish that could change.

I actually still do care though.
very fiercely
possibly more than I've ever.