Fourty-One

Dear Advisor,

You told me something, about five years ago, and I took it straight to heart. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have shut off my brain, like that. I don't know what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn't.

I should have thought for myself, I should have taken your words in with a grain of salt. But I was a kid. I was a kid and I came to you because you were supposed to be trust-worthy and learned.

I put my faith in you.

And even though I understand now, older, what you meant to say then, you shouldn't have said it. I understand what you were trying to get at, what you were trying to get me to see in myself, and the world, but that was the wrong way to put it, and you shouldn't have said it. It was unprofessional, it was wrong, and it certainly didn't help me. At all.

I'm sorry. I really am. I know someone coming back into your office, pointing at you and saying, "Hey. You. You fucked my head up when I was a kid" isn't what you wanted this morning when you got out of bed. But I think about it, all the time, and I think it's about time you started, too.

Regards,
Me.