One Hundred and One

My Dear Elder,

I have known you for my entire life, and we have most probably despised one another for a little under twenty years of it. When I was a child, I distinctly remember jumping into all arms but yours, grudgingly accepting the reality of our familial connection, offering you a polite greeting with nothing in return. But that was then, and though yes, as you continue to remind me, I am still young, I have grown. I have grown and well
I wanted to say I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry that things haven't worked out. I've resented you, for so long, hated your table manners, cringed at the mention of your name, ignored your rants entirely sometimes.
But I want to apologize, on behalf of life,
on behalf of the way things are.
I'm very sorry.
This isn't what you wanted. This life shouldn't be the way it is. You never wanted to be alone. You never wanted this. But it's what you have. And I'm very sorry.

I just...I don't know.
I don't think anyone deserves loneliness.

I am sorry your house is not a home
and your bed is not half as warm as it could be.