One Hundred and Forty Five

I miss you.

Not all the time.

Not all the time, cos I know I have to be patient.
I know I have to listen. I know I have to wait.
It's all I do.Wait.

So not all the time. But sometimes.
Sometimes, I miss the person you used to be.

I miss the way I could trust you.
And the way you could look at me
without wanting anything from me.

And I miss our tea dates. And I miss the ease
our comfort.

I miss being able to watch movies with you
without having to worry
about everything.

I don't regret the past few years.
I've said what I had to. It was right for me.
I don't regret anything I've done.
But I wish you'd be better. I wish you'd be faster at this.

This in particular.

I wish you could believe I can do this.
I wish you could tell me what friends can tell me.

I wish you could believe I'm the kind of person
(the kind of lover)
who's dependable. and honest. And worthy.