One Hundred and Sixty Four

I can't quite explain it.
Cos it feels like a balloon too, in its own way.
Inflating, inside
and I didn't know I had room for this.

And it feels like skydiving.
Skydiving with the wind hitting so fast and it's not like I haven't had the taste of oxygen,
never had my windpipes so open,
but never like this.

And still it feels like snorkeling, too.
Like warmth, and ease, and a safe, safe lull.
Blue water
deep dark blue
the same deep, patient blue your room faded into
the night I forwent sleep
and


it feels like slipping on a coat
just the right fit.
I didn't know I could find one
that fit so well.
so warm. and
comfortable.
Like a coat I'd passed by so many times, searching for just its fit,
just these size pockets, just this cut and hem, and never once did I notice it
until it just fell from its hangar onto my shoulders
sliding into my hands.

And it feels like none of these things, really.
I can't explain it.