213 - Worked Up

If you had five minutes to ask them all
what they either knew or thought about me,
this is probably what they would say:

1. "She can be cruel. She can tell a mean joke or make you feel inferior for no reason. She can be confusing and sweet, and supportive. She can be there when no one else is, for you, and help you in ways you didn't know you needed. But she can be cruel, too."

2. "She can be intense. She can overwhelm you into silence with honesty when you least expect it. She will write you. She will write you all the time, she will write you letters and emails and poems and notes, and she will be very un-ceremonial when she gives them to you. She can hide things from you. She can bottle up. She is sweet and sad. Sometimes very sad, sometimes very sweet."

3. "She is honest. She is romantic. She is loyal and giving and self-sacrificing. She is a martyr and she can't help it. She can bottle things up but she'll think it's for your own good. She wants a lot from herself, and a lot from you. She's waited a long time for you."

4. "She can be distant. She can be grand and public and pandering to the public. She can disappear, with the best intentions. She can want you to want her just to feel wanted. She can flirt with others just to prove to herself that she still can. She can be loving, and sweet, and considerate. She can make you believe in love."

5. "She can be dreamy. She can rope you into a world of ease and simplicity. She can be dutiful and doting and give you things you don't realize you need. She can be patient beyond belief and respectful past words. She can turn on her words at the drop of a dime. She can be transparent in her coldness."